Top Ten Similarities Between a Paranoid Executive and a Grouchy 3-year-old

10. They both throw tantrums to get what they want.

"I don't want to go for nap!"
"I want this project done yesterday or heads will roll!"

9. In a discussion involving multiple people, they only advocate for their own interests.

"But, Mommy, I want to go to the pool."
"All of this is irrelevant. What's really important is..."

8. They love their toys.

"Webkinz!"
"Blackberry!"

7. They spend lots of time on unimportant stuff.

"I make castle with blocks."
"What color should we pick for the sofa fabric in the War Room?"

6. They're always worried that someone is out to get them.

"Boogie man in my closet."
"Did you see that e-mail he sent out to his team about our project metrics? He's trying to get me fired!"

5. One of their favorite pastimes is making their siblings look bad.

"I ate all my supper, but look at her plate."
"The turnover rate on her team is much worse than mine."

4. They are working on improving their manners.

"Can I pppppleeeaaasssse have another cookie?"
"Of course I'm open to feedback."

3. They sometimes have difficulty sharing.

"That doll is mine!"
"That director is mine!"

2. They are well-practiced at CYA.

"I didn't do it!"
"Don't write that in an e-mail, it could get forwarded."

And the number one similarity between a paranoid executive and a grouchy 3-year-old....

1. They have their favorite people.

"Mommy!"
"Mommy!"