Marketing Through Tears

Why is it that I frequently end up crying at the Hallmark store? This afternoon, I was standing in front of the card display trying to pick out a birthday card for my sister, and I had to fight back the tears.

I can't stand giving cards to people that make them cry for the simple reason that I don't like receiving them. Card after card was filled with mushy messages. But there wasn't anything in between the mush and the "You're stuck with me as a sister, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah"-type of humor. I settled on something that made me merely misty-eyed.

Perhaps Hallmark gains customer loyalty by purposly evoking crying fits at the card display. The music piped into the store probably contains subliminal messages that encourage the waterworks. I wonder how long it will take for them to realize that they should go all the way with the marketing through tears campaign. Put out tissue boxes in a designated crying area. Pay someone to give out hugs. Provide a memory book for people to immortalize in pen the emotions that the cards have evoked. Maybe they can take pictures that can then be inserted into the card that's been purchased.

How about a discount to those who show up at the counter with red eyes and/or mascara running down their cheeks? 10% off for crying, 25% if you're bawling like a baby. You get the card for free if the men in the ambulance have to bring out the cozy white jacket.