The Piles of Paperwork, They Overwhelm

Today I spent about five hours going through the household paperwork, paying bills, making phone calls, and generally trying not to let any balls drop. That is way too long to spend on such tasks. I don't remember it being this bad when I was working full time in my previous job. Maybe that's because there were a lot of to do's that we just plain missed.

Anyway, I'm really hoping that Mr. Allen's book, Getting Things Done, has some good suggetions that can be implemented on the home organization front. So far, his book has kept my interest and inspired me to consider buying a label maker, of all things. Stay tuned for a post, once I finish the book, on GTD for Household Survival.

Book Clubs in Suburbia - The Story Behind the Story

I attended my first book club meeting recently. The official purpose of the meeting is to discuss a book. But I'm here to tell you that the meeting purpose is merely a coverup for the real purpose of the book club meetings: to get out of the house and be social. I felt a little silly that I'd brought along my copy of the book of the month, or that I had prepared for the discussion by researching some of the issues the book confronted. (yes, I'm a nerd at heart, thank you very much)

Some highlights:

- we spent about an hour drinking wine and eating sweets before anyone mentioned the book (other than to say that they hadn't read/finished it)
- when we finally all agreed to sit down and discuss it, the discussion lasted a total of 15 minutes
- everyone declared that they really liked the book, there was little chance to critique it or talk about style, voice, etc.
- someone nominated the next book to be read
- the party concluded shortly therafter because people had to get back to relieve their sitters

All in all, I had a wonderful time. It was enjoyable to share the company of a very interesting group of women. But next time, I'm not going to bring the book. I almost forgot to take it with me when I left, having consumed a little too much wine and probably not enough sweets.

Marketing Through Tears

Why is it that I frequently end up crying at the Hallmark store? This afternoon, I was standing in front of the card display trying to pick out a birthday card for my sister, and I had to fight back the tears.

I can't stand giving cards to people that make them cry for the simple reason that I don't like receiving them. Card after card was filled with mushy messages. But there wasn't anything in between the mush and the "You're stuck with me as a sister, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah"-type of humor. I settled on something that made me merely misty-eyed.

Perhaps Hallmark gains customer loyalty by purposly evoking crying fits at the card display. The music piped into the store probably contains subliminal messages that encourage the waterworks. I wonder how long it will take for them to realize that they should go all the way with the marketing through tears campaign. Put out tissue boxes in a designated crying area. Pay someone to give out hugs. Provide a memory book for people to immortalize in pen the emotions that the cards have evoked. Maybe they can take pictures that can then be inserted into the card that's been purchased.

How about a discount to those who show up at the counter with red eyes and/or mascara running down their cheeks? 10% off for crying, 25% if you're bawling like a baby. You get the card for free if the men in the ambulance have to bring out the cozy white jacket.

Spanx: Tummy Air Brush for Less Than $30

Have you ever seen a beautiful dress on the rack and passed it by because it looked like it would fit too close to the tummy for comfort?

Have you recently gained/lost weight so that your middle isn't quite what it used to be?

Do your clothes create bad VPL (visible pany lines)?

Fear not! There's an answer, and it's so simple. If you haven't yet met them, allow me to introduce you to Spanx Power Panties, a gift from the fashion gods. Basically they are like high end control top pantyhose without the hose. They come in a variety of nudes, black, and in many shapes and sizes. They keep the tummy in and help garments hang right.

An added bonus: they keep the bum looking perky.

My only caution is that you get the right size. If they're too small, they'll roll down on you and you'll end up with a mini-tire around your middle. If they are too long, they'll be visible beneath your hemiline, clearly a fashion NO.

Spanx have gotten me through several weddings, formals, and dinner dates. If you want to free your mind from worrying about holding your stomach in all night, Spanx are the answer.

Top Ten Similarities Between a Paranoid Executive and a Grouchy 3-year-old

10. They both throw tantrums to get what they want.

"I don't want to go for nap!"
"I want this project done yesterday or heads will roll!"

9. In a discussion involving multiple people, they only advocate for their own interests.

"But, Mommy, I want to go to the pool."
"All of this is irrelevant. What's really important is..."

8. They love their toys.

"Webkinz!"
"Blackberry!"

7. They spend lots of time on unimportant stuff.

"I make castle with blocks."
"What color should we pick for the sofa fabric in the War Room?"

6. They're always worried that someone is out to get them.

"Boogie man in my closet."
"Did you see that e-mail he sent out to his team about our project metrics? He's trying to get me fired!"

5. One of their favorite pastimes is making their siblings look bad.

"I ate all my supper, but look at her plate."
"The turnover rate on her team is much worse than mine."

4. They are working on improving their manners.

"Can I pppppleeeaaasssse have another cookie?"
"Of course I'm open to feedback."

3. They sometimes have difficulty sharing.

"That doll is mine!"
"That director is mine!"

2. They are well-practiced at CYA.

"I didn't do it!"
"Don't write that in an e-mail, it could get forwarded."

And the number one similarity between a paranoid executive and a grouchy 3-year-old....

1. They have their favorite people.

"Mommy!"
"Mommy!"

Bronx Zoo Minus the Hassle

My two children and I met up with my friend and her one-year-old at the Bronx Zoo this morning. To my great relief, the trip was a success. We arrived in 37 minutes, a world record from our location. The children never bothered me to go potty when we didn't have one in sight. The lines weren't horrible. Despite the eighty-something temperatures, the shade provided by the trees made it comfortable. The heat of summer didn't magnify the zoo smells either. Even the animals cooperated. We never had seen lemurs that close, nor so many before. The sea lions were friendly. None of the animals in the Children's Zoo nipped or intimidated the kids. It makes me wonder if there's more fact in Madagascar than fiction.

Part of the trip's success was luck. We had nice weather. The kids were in a good mood. But the majority of the success I credit to good planning. What can be done to ensure hassle-free fun at the zoo? I'm glad you asked... (drum roll please)

10 tips that will greatly reduce the hassle-factor of a half day trip to the zoo with children:

1. Pick the right day. My friend did a great job of choosing the right day. Apparently, Wednesday is free admission day and it's really, really crowded. Next week is Play Week, which looks like fun, but would greatly increase the hassle factor.

2. Arrive early. We arrived at about 9:45 am, parked in a great space, and didn't have to wait in line for longer than 5 minutes. (The Bronx Zoo opens at 10.) Plus, there's a nifty eco-friendly bathroom you can use before the zoo opens. The kids enjoyed watching the foam suds fill the toilet basins.

3. There's lots of walking, so plan accordingly. Wear sunscreen. Don comfortable shoes, bring strollers for young 'un's, and don't overload the bag you're carrying.

4. Per #3, don't lug around lunch if you don't have to bring a stroller. Buy it at the zoo, it's surprisingly good. Hit the lunch area at around 11:30 am. We just beat the crowd, and the food was fresh. I had a chicken Caesar salad with no crutons and it was crispy and flavorful.

5. If you plan on going to any of the special exhibits or attractions, try to do those first. We didn't get to Congo Gorilla Forest until after lunch and it was slammed with people. My favorites were the Butterfly Garden, and the Bug Carousel.

6. If you have children who walk, consider dressing them in matching t-shirts, preferably loud ones that you can pick out of a crowd. I like the WanderWear products. There were a few moments when I couldn't see my kids behind all of the people watching an exhibit, and I didn't like it.

7. To speed up your trip, ask zoo staff for directions. Taking out the map and studying it wastes time and is really difficult to do while keeping an eye on roaming children.

8. Move on from each exhibit within a reasonable amount of time. This isn't as much a tip as a request/rant/whine. There were some really annoying people at the zoo who stood blocking the best scenes for what seemed like hours. Enjoy the exhibit, and if it is busy, move on in a few minutes to make room for the rest of us.

9. Leave at the right time. Don't understimate how tired children will get walking around for half a day. To avoid melt-down's, set expectatins as to when you'll leave and stick to them. I must admit that I probably stretched the limits here. Both my kids were dragging their feet when we returned to our cars at around 2 pm.

10. Don't forget to have fun. Seeing things through a child's eyes is a gift, and I often have to remind myself to slow down enough to enjoy it.

Instant Blush without Bruising Your Cheeks

It took me until I was almost 25 to realize that my zits were no longer a product of my age but of what I was putting on my skin. At Sage Skin Care, they explained that products like Clearasil (which I'd still been using) and most blushes contain ingredients that are known for causing break-outs.

The non-chemical and probably most well-known way to make your cheeks red is to pinch them a la Scarlet O'Hara in Gone with the Wind. But it doesn't last long enough. Why break those precious capillaries when you can have instant blush with Benetint by Benefit Cosmetics ($28, Buy at Amazon, at Sephora, or at the Benefit site)? It's the one bit of makeup that I apply consistently every day. I refuse to be pale and tired looking, even if I really am pale and tired looking. A few strokes and a rub of Benetint on the apples of my cheeks and in that spot above each eyebrow and I look more alive and red-blooded.

Oh, and Benetint doesn't clog the pores or cause zits. Additional benefits: its light, rose petal scent, and the fact that it doesn't go bad after three months like powder-based products.